A New Employee
Several weeks after a young woman had been hired, she was called into the personal director’s office. “What is the meaning of this?” the director asked. “When you applied for the job,you told us you had five year’s experience.Now we discover this is the first job you ever held.”
“Well,” the young woman said, “in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination.”
One day, when I was walking along a main shopping thoroughfare in the city, a woman asked me, “Isn’t there a shop near here that sells imported perfume?”
“Yes, there is,” I replied. “Go straight ahead and it’s the first shop after the intersection.”
She thanked me and started off in the opposite direction.“Excuse me,”I called after her.“Didn’t you understand my explanation?”
“Oh, yes,” she replied.“It’s just that I don’t want to go past the shop and be tempted.”
Keys or kiss
A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adults who had recently come to live in the United States. After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said, “Give me the keys.” The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss. Seeing this, my friend thought that the student hadn’t heard him clearly, so he repeated. “Give me the keys.” The Italian shrugged his shoulders. Then, he threw his arms around the teacher’s neck and kissed him on both cheeks.
I Am Acting Like a Lady
One day when women’s dresses were on sale at the Far East Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.
He stood it as long as he could; then, with his head lowered and his arms flailing, he plowed through the crowd.
“You there!” challenged a thrill voice. “Can’t you act like a gentleman?”
“Listen,” he said, “I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady.”
英文幽默英语幽默what's puberty(青春期)Ｊｏｋｅｓ英语小幽默英语幽默：Cat and Mice猫和老鼠