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高考书面表达思路点拨

作者:唐利冬    文章来源:高三英语    更新时间:2009-5-11

【写作实例】
  假如你是明明,17岁。请根据下面图中的内容,给报社编辑写一封信,简要描叙你的处境和烦恼,并就此谈谈自己的观点。可适当增加相关内容。词数:120-150词。
  
  【思路点拨】
  这是一篇书信、叙述、议论和看图写作相结合的书面表达,从体裁上看是应用文,从题材上看是叙述文兼议论文。总之在具体写作中,需要采用夹叙夹议的手法,这也是近年来高考书面表达的最常见题型。做这类书面表达题时,首先要求同学们能认真审题,读懂图意,然后结合题目要求,简单叙述事件或故事情节;最后阐述自己的观点和看法,并求助于编辑。写作时应注意:事件的描述要简明扼要,事件的性质应明白无误。
  本篇的具体写作步骤是:
  1. 叙述自己的生活经历,表明“孩子的负担太重”,大学费用过高;
  2. 阐述自己的观点和看法:希望父母多给孩子一些自由的空间;降低大学学费;
  3. 向编辑求助,呼吁父母理解自己的孩子。
  此文所涉及的词汇和句型有:
  although, finish, expect, in the future, be made to, play the piano, be busy studying, fell ill, how I wish to, expect, fee, too ... to, pay for, hope等
  
  【组词成句】
  使用上述词汇和正确的英语句型将各要点表达出来。注意谓语形式要保持多样性以增加语言的表达力;可以使用不同的句型结构,如疑问句、简单句、并列句、复合句等,以提高句子的档次和程度;另外,还可以使用一些比较复杂的语法现象,如介词短语、不定式、动名词等。
  1. My parents expect me to become a famous person in the future.
  2. I’m so busy studying all day that recently I fell ill.
  3. How I wish to have some time to play freely!
  4. Another problem is that when we go to college, the fee is too high for my parents to pay for.
  5. I really hope the fees in college can not be so high.
  
  【组句成篇】
  Dear editor,
  I’m a 17-year-old student. Although I’m still a child, after I come back from school and finish lots of homework, I have to learn many other things every day because my parents expect me to become a famous person in the future. In the morning I’m made to learn English. In the afternoon, I must learn to play the piano, and in the evening, my father takes me to an art school to learn drawing till night. I’m so busy studying all day that recently I fell ill and was sent to hospital. I’m too tired. How I wish to have an hour to play freely! What should I do? I’m expecting your advice.
  Another problem is that when we go to college, the fee is too high for my parents to pay, so I really hope the fees in college can not be so high.
  Yours,
  Mingming
  教师点评: 这篇习作是一篇优秀的书面表达。作者首先读懂了图意,并用简洁的词句表达了图画中的故事情节;接着用“I’m too tired. How I wish to have an hour to play freely!”短短两句话,表达了作者对此种现象的不满和对自由的渴望。最后提出了自己的疑问,并希望得到编辑的帮助。两段紧紧相扣,一气呵成,好似将陈积良久的苦水一股脑儿倒了出来,给人一种畅快淋漓的感觉。本文语篇表述流畅,用语准确,同样是父母硬逼着自己学习外语、钢琴和美术,却用了三种不同的表达:I’m made to learn English, I must learn to play the piano和my father takes me to an art school,表现了作者丰富的语言知识;although,so ... that等连接词的恰当使用,使文章更加连贯;而感叹句和疑问句的使用,更是作者愤懑和无奈的呐喊,使文章更具感染力。总之,这是一篇较优秀的书面表达,写出了题图中所有的信息点,而且有叙述,既有关于心中烦恼的呼喊,也有得到帮助的渴望,此外,结构、语法和语言知识的运用都准确无误。
  
  【实战演练】
  父亲节到了,李华为父亲买了一件精美的礼物。当他送给父亲时,父亲虽然非常感激,但却很严肃地问他最近的学习情况及考试成绩如何,这让他感到苦恼、伤心。虽然自己努力了,但成绩一直不太理想,父亲对自己的期望似乎除了学习还是学习。请根据这件事写一篇文章。
  要求:
  1. 重点说明你对家庭中父母与子女之间关系的看法,向父亲提些建议;
  2. 观点明确,说理清晰;
  3. 词数:l20-150词左右;
  4. 参考词汇:generation gap 代沟

 
  
  【写作提示】
  这是一则开放式作文。在现实生活中,父母是我们最亲近的人,但我们与父母之间由于对很多问题的看法不同以及缺乏交流和沟通而常常产生代沟。
  具体到这个写作任务,根据所提供的情景,李华的苦恼也许就是因为他认为父亲只关心他的学习,而忽略了家庭生活中许多其他的方面,所以这篇习作的立意应放在对父母们提建议上。写作时首先对题干中所说明的事例进行简单介绍,然后把自己关于如何解决这种矛盾的建议作为写作重点,这些建议应涉及父母如何处理家庭中与子女之间的关系等内容。孩子们不仅希望父母关心自己的学习,还希望父母能多关注他们其他的方面,希望从父母那儿得到爱的回应,创造一种和谐的生活氛围等等。写作时应大胆地发表自己的观点,尽可能地有自己独到的见解。表达观点时一定要鲜明,不要模棱两可,含含糊糊。
  
  【习作展示】
  A sad Father’s Day
  Li Hua sent his father a wonderful present for Father’s Day. After thanking him, his father went on to ask him about his study, which made Li Hua unhappy, because he didn’t do well in his studies though he studied hard. In my opinion, it’s necessary for parents to care about our studies. However, they should also care about many other things. In my opinion, if too strict, parents may cause a generation gap. Teenagers sometimes are eager to express their feelings to their parents, which may be stopped because of their parents’ strict demands.
  In a word, it is right for parents to be strict with their children, but they should not expect too much of their children in studies and they should care for their children’s feeling and study burden.
  教师点评: 这篇习作可得19分。首先,作者的写作重点是对父母的建议,切题较好;其次,作者在句式的使用上比较注意多样化。在If too strict, parents may cause generation gap一句中使用了省略句作状语,使文章增色不少。连接词however,短语be eager to等用得也很好。但这篇文章存在的问题是作者在提建议方面没有放开思路,涉及面较窄,说理还不到位,说服力还不够强。这一点是开放式作文中学生最难把握的地方,所以勤思考和多读东西从而在写作时做到言之有物、言之有理仍然是写作训练中非常重要的基本功。

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高考书面表达思路点拨
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