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高考书面表达精练

作者:闵 娜 …    文章来源:高三英语    更新时间:2009-5-11
【写作任务】
  由于科技的快速发展和广告的大力宣传,很多学生在英语学习中开始使用电子词典而抛弃了传统词典。请你根据以下提示给《21世纪报》写篇文章,比较两者的优缺点,并发表你自己的看法。


  
  注意:
  1. 电子词典 electronic dictionary;传统词典 paper dictionary
  2. 字数120字左右。
  1.【思维导航】
  该篇书面表达是书信形式的议论文。通过审题,我们知道本题的目的是通过对比电子词典与传统词典的优缺点,进而表明自己的态度或观点。自由表达自己的观点和意见,给学生们提供了想像空间,也使语言表达更加自由。写信时还要注意书信的格式。此类对比论述型作文一般结构是:“优点是……;缺点是……;我的看法。”写作内容要点如下:
  ① 开始语
  ② 电子词典的优缺点
  ③ 传统词典的优缺点
  ④ 自己的看法
  2. 【学生习作】
  试分析如下学生习作的优缺点,并尽量改正其中错误:
  Dear editor,
  Nowaday, with the rapid development of science and advertisements’ recommendation, electronic dictionary is popular with more and more sendents,① take the place of paper dictionary.
  As we all know, the electronic dictionary is very small and easy to carry, which makes it convenient for us to search for what we want. What’s more, it can② make voice. However, it has its own disadvantages as well. For example, the price is③ expensive and we may damage it if we use it improperly. Besides, examples in it are not enough.
  Compared with it, the paper dictionary is cheaper and contains more examples. In addition, we can keep it longer. But it’s very big and we have to spend more time④ looking for the words.
  In my opinion, both have their own strengths and weaknesses. We can use the dictionary based on our different situations and make the most of it.
  3. 【专家点评】
  (1)总体评价
  本文覆盖了表格中所提供的所有内容要点,并根据要求进行了适当的发挥。语言表达充实、流畅,也能有效地使用不同的连接手段及较复杂的结构和较高级的词汇,较好地达到了预期的写作目的。但文中也有些小错误。
  (2)亮点或采分点
  ① as we all know, what’s more, in addition等连词
  ② ... which makes it convenient ...
  ③ recommendation, strengths and weaknesses
  (3)错误更正
  ① take the place of应改为taking the place of。此为结构错误,应用现在分词短语作结果状语。
  ② ... can make voice应改为provide sounds。此为词语误用,voice指嗓音,sound指声响。
  ③ expensive应改为high。此为搭配不当,此句主语为price,“价格”应该搭配“高”。
  ④ looking for应改为looking up或consulting或referring to。此为词语误用,look for“寻找”,look up “查找”。
  (4) 锦上添花
  ① 习作中用 ... strong recommendation也可用widespread promotion。
  ② ... contains more examples也可用 ...contains abundant examples。
  (5)五彩缤纷
  本文有自由发挥的空间,可使用下面一些句型或短语来丰富文章的内容,增加文章的可读性。例如:
  ① 在表达“查找很方便”后可加一句Stndents can get the needed information in a few seconds by pressing several keys.。
  ② 在最后一段的总结中,还可添加Every coin has two sides.。
  4. 【参考范文】
  Dear editor,
  Nowadays, a new hi-tech product, the electronic dictionary is becoming more and more popular among us students with the widespread promotion. The paper dictionary has to give way to the new one.
  In the students’ eyes, the electronic dictionary is easy to carry and convenient to use. Students can get the needed information in a few seconds by pressing several keys. Some dictionanies can also provide sounds as well as written information. However, the dictionary is expensive and easy to break down. And there’re not enough examples.
  Compared with it, the paper dictionary takes up too much space and usually takes the users a long time to consult. But it’s cheap and lasts long. It also provides the users with abundant examples.
  Every coin has two sides. In my opinion, we should combine the two kinds of dictionanries and make full use of them.
  Yours sincerely,
  Jim.
  5. 【范文背诵】
  请依据如下提示词在15分钟内背下范文并于第二天早晨再朗读并背诵一遍。
  popular, promotion, give way to, easy, convenient, press, provide, expensive, break down, example, compare with, take up, cheap, last, combine.
  6. 【重写作文】
  请于三天后先用纸蒙住上述学生习作及范文并依据上述提示词重写作文,然后与范文进行比较和修改。 08高考英语书面表达分析
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高考书面表达精练
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