笑话连篇( ENGLISH JOKES)

1。

-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

　　-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

　　-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

2。

wife and husband passing by a garden,saw some ducks and chicks.

husband: are they your relatives?

wife: yes. in-laws.

3。

George was 29 and still single. All of his friends were married, but George just dated and dated.
One day Bill asked him why he wasn't married. "Don't you want to settle down? Are you holding out for the perfect woman? Are you having trouble meeting someone compatible?"
"Actually," George replied, "I've found many women I would have been happy to marry. Things always start off fine, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother never approves of them."
Bill thinks for a moment. "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mom!"
A few months later Bill ran into George again. George looked a little depressed so Bill asked how things were going. "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother approve?"
George shrugged his shoulders. "Yes, I found the perfect girl. Yes she was just like my mom. Yes, you were right, not only did my mom approve, but they became good friends."
"What's the problem?" asked Bill.
"My father can't stand her."

4。An old man died and left his son a lot of money.But the son was a foolish young man, and he quickly spent all the money, so that soon he had nothing left. Of course,when that happened,all his friends left him. When he was quite poor and alone, he went to see Nasreddin, who was a kind, clever old man and often helped people when they had troubles.
     'My money has finished and my friends have gone,' said the young man. 'What will happen to me now?'
     'Don't worry, young man,' answered Nasreddn. 'Everything will soon be all right again. Wait, and you will soon feel much happier.'
     The young man was very glad. 'Am I going to get rich again then?' he asked Nasreddin.
     'No, I didn't mean that,' said the old man. 'I meant that you would soon get used to being poor and to having no friends.'